Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Settling In

I long to be settled in, to routines, to where we live, to work, whatever, I just like that settled routine feeling of life. I remember shortly after I met Adam he was saying how he just wants to stay in one place so long that he becomes "just Adam", and people know him, accept him, and he doesn't have to defend/explain himself repeatedly; you know, the whole "getting to know you" stage that comes with change.
It did take me a while to feel "settled" into life in Bellevue, but I think both Adam and I feel settled (I must say it took me a bit longer than Adam). There are hiccups here and there, but for the most part, we totally feel like Bellevue is our home and will be for a long time (I know, for some of you these are odd thoughts, but I guess when you're married to a pastor, change somewhere along the way is inevitable, and it's just something you expect).
Now, I had an experience today, and I'm thinking, is this something particular to Bellevue, or would life be like this where ever we lived?
Thornley is a child who likes structure and routine, and doesn't embrace change; so this whole full day, new teacher, new rules, new people in class thing has thrown him for a bit of a loop. Today he said he wanted to take the day off; he'd go back to school tomorrow, so I knew some stuff had gone on and it was just a bit of anxiety that needed to be worked thru. So we have a little chat, I give him a bit of a pep talk and off to school we go. We arrive and he comes undone; again, I think it was his anxieties over the new routine, new class, new rules, but none the less, things weren't going particularly well for Thorns this morning. One of kids in his class is from his preschool. They weren't in the same class, but I recognize this boy's mom and we have chatted on and off over the past few years. So I'm helping/dragging Thornley into class as he's screaming that he hates school and just wants to go home, and the mom says to me as I'm on my way out the door, "That is one of the problems with choosing 1/2 day kindergarten". Excuse me? I hardly know you lady! I have absolutely no regrets over our kindergarten choice last year, and further more how dare you question me and my parenting choices!
Now, I'm not stupid, I know my kid has some quirks, but he's really a sweet sensitive kid who just doesn't adapt to change well, which is what I would have said to the lady if I could have picked my jaw up off the ground.
I just wonder, where do people get off giving parenting advice to people they HARDLY KNOW?!
So while I'm still processing thru that lovely encounter, Jack and I head off to do some errands and go back to school and have lunch with Thornley. We get back to school, get signed in at the office, and I see Thorns' class in the library. Thornley LOVES the library, and he has a smile from ear to ear because he gets his own library card this year, and gets to check books out! We have lunch, go out to the playground, and I'm helping Thornley look for some of his friends that are in other classes this year, when I run into a dad of one of the kids from Thornley class last year. So I go up and try to make small talk with him and ask him how things are going, "great, fabulous", and ask how his son is adjusting to first grade "fabulous, loves it, no problems". Really?
So I'm wondering, am I the only one who has a kid who's having a hard time, or am I the only one brave enough to say it? Is the need to appear problem-less everywhere, or just more pronounced here?
I don't get it, but hope that this new phase will pass quickly and we will feel settled in to the new routine soon!


cori said...

Love today's blog!

Mrs. G said...

Hope that Thorns is doing better today. He just misses me i know :-)